feeling weepy this morning

I miss Matt so much.  It hurts, all of it, everywhere.  Not constantly, but a lot.  I hate it when my mornings start like this, because it makes it harder to focus on work…or at least harder not to be distracted when I don’t have any work to do.  For some reason, I’ve been remembering the sound of Matt’s voice this morning, which is not a very productive thing to do.  Sometimes I want to go bury myself in a hole in the ground and never come out.  I won’t, but sometimes I want to.  That alternative seems better than never living with Matt again.  I had never been happier or more loved…..

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erinreeve

I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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