Mornings are still the hardest, as a general rule. I used to like mornings fairly well too. Maybe it gets easier as the day wears on because I get more distracted, or I get better at accepting my life as it is. At any rate, I miss Matt a lot this morning.
I suspect that I’m going to be the last person to be able to get on with my life (which isn’t really a good way to put it since the act of surviving suicide is simply LIVING – so in a sense I have been getting on with my life since Matt died). Basically though, I was the person with whom Matt shared his life, and I’m still reeling. I’m not going to apologize for it either, but I will probably feel weird bringing it up when everyone else has come to terms with it. I don’t really have anything else to say on the topic…but am just thinking about it.
I’m noticing all the grief in the world lately. It’s always been there – I just couldn’t relate before.