No Promises This Time

It’s one of the good mornings. Sometimes I feel so calm and peaceful and comfortable in my body and it’s such a pleasure. This morning was rainy and dark and the leaves are starting to turn yellow and fall off of the trees, and even though I am sitting here in my brightly-glaring-yet-dull office, I am feeling peaceful. I know it won’t last all day so I just wanted to take this moment to acknowledge it and savor it.

I keep meaning to journal more but forget to carry a journal around – so when my domain name renewed again this year I remembered I have this blog. Not as much fun to write in, but still scratches that itch.

I think when Covid happened, I started drinking too much. I know I’m not alone there. But I’m going to be 40 years old in a few months and I want to start acting like it. Not to say that I don’t enjoy cocktails and wine or that I want to swear them off entirely. I just really want to make them special occasion indulgences. I don’t want to drink any more in the middle of the week, or even much on the weekend. Maybe a cocktail on Friday but if I can’t limit it to that, maybe abstain totally except for fancy dinners out or parties.

The reason I wanted to do this is mainly because I need to be healthier as I’m turning 40 and getting older. I’m starting to think about aging more, as I’m noticing my face change and my hair change and my body change. I’ve mostly stopped smoking which is really great, but now I need to mostly stop drinking too. In reading about how alcohol affects your mind and body, I know that I am using it as a crutch and that it’s causing me to feel less happiness if I’m not drinking – but abstinence can heal that. It’s also causing me to really have a harder time focusing, and my reading comprehension is not what I would like it to be either – mainly because I can’t focus. I want to change these things.

As aging is more and more on my mind, I need to stop using alcohol to distract myself from it and make myself feel temporarily better. Aging isn’t bad, after all. And I think my avoidance is creating dread. Aging isn’t bad. One of the only IG reels I’m actually glad to have to seen is a woman in her 50’s responding to a younger woman to tell her that aging is a gift. And I know I’ve heard that sentiment before but it made me thankful. Aging IS a gift. (Not to go into that analogy too deeply – can’t say who the gift is from but it feels more meaningful than saying it’s luck.) (Maybe a gift from yourself.)

So anyway, I think my goals this week are

• No alcohol at all
• Menu planning and stick to it
• Prep lunches the night before going to the office
• Mow the lawn
• Clean the house, including mirror trays and dusting
• Find an interesting non-fiction book to read, and read a little bit every day to work on focusing

Looks like this blog has turned into a Thanksgiving planning space for me. That was unintentional – but maybe lack of intentionality is the problem.

Well anyway, Thanksgiving is ten days out, and I’m getting pretty excited! Have decided to smoke a turkey on the Weber grill this year. Previous years, I’ve used an electric roaster to make the turkey which leaves the oven free for all the other stuff I have to use it for, but I have never figured out how to achieve a uniformly-colored bird with that roaster. I wanted to try the oven but couldn’t figure out a way to cook the turkey AND all the casseroles/rolls that I’ll be baking on Thursday. How do people with one oven do it all?! I don’t want to know. So — planning to do a wet brine and then smoke it on Thursday.

The rest of the meal will be your standard Southern Thanksgiving fare. The only new dishes for this year will be a broccoli casserole, and some glazed carrots. I always want to do carrots but never end up planning any – so have fixed that problem this year. I am trying a new cranberry relish this year too- half cranberries, half apples, with some citrus. I’m thinking of getting some Calvados to spike it a little too.

This last weekend (today is Monday), I made a bunch of hog bone broth (with some hog bones from our CSA) and also cleaned out the freezer. Did some cleaning and re-organizing in the kitchen too, hoping to make it feel less cluttered in there. I need to clean out the grill sometime this week, but otherwise I’m mostly caught up until this weekend. This will give me plenty of time to try to finish playing Red Dead Redemption (the original) so that I can start playing RDR2 on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I started RDR1 several months ago after Liesl strongly recommended it, and sorta got distracted by stuff after making it into Mexico. I decided to get RDR2 because I DO like the feel of the game, and the new one is supposed to be spectacularly gorgeous, and I wanted a new game to play after Thanksgiving. I preordered Fallout 76 but then canceled the preorder after reading too many bad/skeptical reviews. I’m not much for PvP games. I feel like a traitor to the franchise, and will probably get the game later once it’s not so expensive, because I do love FO and have played the last 3 games. But I didn’t want to spend $60 on something I’m not sure that I’ll like (duh). Plus even though I have put HOURS into FO4, I have still not ever actually finished the game because it keeps bugging out on me. First playthrough I couldn’t finish off the Railroad and the Institute because – though Deacon had already died – the game thought that he was still alive and living on top of the Mass Fusion building. Second playthrough I can’t finish off the Institute because f’ing Desdemona won’t even acknowledge me (I think this is because I let a Railroad agent die during the battle of Bunker Hill). Drove me crazy, may never play the game again. (I DO have some mighty fine settlements from both playthroughs though, I will note.)

Anyway, so there you have my Thanksgiving plans. We just got new dishes and new wine glasses too, and I got a new roasting pan (purely out of necessity since I can’t very well use the electric roaster on the grill) – so yeah, excited about using everything. Not nearly as excited about the next five days at work, but I’ll live.

I have held back on blogging about Thanksgiving because I don’t have much to say that isn’t purely gushing with excitement….but sorry, going to go ahead and tell you ALL about it.

So! I am incorporating a few new things this year, and sticking with the old staples that make the day Thanksgiving. Menu this year includes –

Roasted turkey, which I have ordered from Porter Road Butcher and is probably frolicking around in a field right now which makes me happy. I wish these turkeys came with names. This year, I’m going to do a wet brine again (a cider and citrus brine which sounds AMAZING), and I also purchased an injector this year! Going to inject a butter and cider/citrus marinade that I will probably make up next Wednesday. I’m excited about how this will add to the flavor of the turkey – have never done this before!

I’m also going to do a roasted acorn squash for Katie because Stephen has an amazing recipe and I feel bad that Katie never gets a “main dish.”

Stephen will be making the stuffing this year. I made it last year since he was out of town…but I can’t remember what recipe he uses so can’t say anything about it…..

I’ll be doing Aunt Carol’s Sweet Potato Casserole, OF COURSE, and I’m also making mashed potatoes (of course). This year I’m going to try Julia Child’s recipe for garlic mashed potatoes, which basically consists of blanching a fuck ton of garlic (30 cloves, to be more precise) and then combining them with a bechamel….and then adding that to the mashed potatoes. It sounds amazing.

I’ll make the cranberry sauce that I made last year, except I’ll probably use bourbon instead of brandy. And Faith is bringing a cranberry salad, so we’re covered on the cranberry front!

I made some honey butter rolls last year which were delicious, so I’m going to use that recipe again this year. Nothing new or exciting – except that rolls are always exciting, so I should really just say nothing new.

Katie is bringing some kind of green dish (like made with green vegetables). Not sure what yet, or how many.

And probably last on the menu is another Thanksgiving staple – Grandma’s Magic Chocolate Pie. And Faith will make a custard pie.

So that’s the menu.

Have about a million things to buy this weekend for all that. Also I bought a carving board for the turkey this year; it’s basically a cutting board with a grid of small pyramids in the middle to hold your [piece of meat] in place while you carve. I had been pining over silver platters recently, as the turkey platter I’ve used the last several years was purchased at a thrift store and basically feels like plastic. And the more I use it, the more the silver finish washes off. So – new serving board this year!

I realize that it’s on Tuesday…but I really can’t wait for the weekend. Going to spend it cleaning out the refrigerator, grocery shopping, making pie crusts, and cleaning up the kitchen (etc).

I feel like I’ve been posting FAR too many dollhouse pictures on Instagram, so am giving it a break to blog a bit!

Everything’s coming along nicely. I currently am half-way through painting the exterior trim, and am almost done with the floor on the lower storey. This is a picture from two days ago; I added a second coat of the stain yesterday and am going to put the polyurethane coat on soon (probably the weekend as we have Billy Collins plans tonight and symphony plans tomorrow…).

 I made a little cushion for the window box too – omg I love that color of green so much.

Yesterday, I worked up a little prototype of the bookshelves that I want to line one of the upstairs rooms with. I was at work and had no glue, so used tape …

It turned out so well (I mean, the design, not the execution) that I measured and cut new popsicle sticks for a legit shelf that I put together once I got home. A quick note first – I found some printable 1:12 “leather bound” books on some miniatures website yesterday and threw these “books” together – aren’t they the cutest thing?!

Anyway. So yesterday when I got home, I stained the wood for the shelf and then glued it together. It’s PERFECT. OMG it is the cutest thing I have EVER made.

Sooooo pretty. I’m going to make like several more too, and some half size cases. And probably some odd-sized ones too to fit into the little nooks upstairs. Not explaining well but will post pictures whenever I actually make it that far. I haven’t done any work on the upstairs yet so still have a ways to go…..

This is what the house currently looks like. Can’t wait to remove the tape to see how it REALLY looks…..

Back when I was…oh, not really sure how old…ten or so, I received a dollhouse kit as a Christmas gift from my parents. I believe that this was given to me after I had started making my own dollhouse out of a cardboard box and cardboard accessories. Dad did most of the work on assembling the dollhouse, as I recall, but I know I helped at least some anyway….

I spent many hours playing with that dollhouse. I received a lot of dollhouse furniture as Christmas and birthday gifts back then and had a very nicely furnished Victorian dollhouse for quite a while. Of course, I eventually stopped playing with it and it has followed me around through a few moves, sitting in garaged and collecting dust and mud dauber nests.

So recently I remembered that it existed and I decided that I wanted to fix it up. Can’t remember what prompted this, but that’s not important.

I still have a LOT of work to do, but wanted to put up some pictures of my progress so far. Things are starting to come together….

First step was cleaning the house, and re-gluing everything together. Hot garages aren’t good for glue and the house was feeling very flimsy.

After gluing and cleaning, I decided to add a stone foundation to the house. I did this by cutting pieces of styrofoam into rectangles, and painting them a stone color. I then glued them to the house —

After the glue was mostly set, I added the mortar. Which I bought off of Amazon – very convenient.

The mortar in this picture isn’t totally dry – it’s much lighter in color now.

After finishing this, I removed the plastic “windows” and sanded down the frames. I have to figure out what kind of window I’ll install, but I’m still weighing my options…. I also removed the wallpaper and carpet from the inside of the house so that I could prime everything and redecorate later.

Picture on the left was after I painted the attic and the room on the left; picture ont he right is after I’d finished with the interior. I’m not going to paint the floor as I’ll be putting down hardwood panels later. Er, soon – that’s actually next on my agenda.

This is just a picture to give you an idea of how the floor panels will fit. These are popsicle sticks which I’ve modified a lot – and have a lot more modifying to do before I can glue everything in. I got some stain and polyurethane the other day though, and am excited about how this is going to turn out!!

This last picture is how I left the house last night. This is with two coats of primer (except the front porch which is trickier to get to). I’m leaning towards leaving the house white and painting the trim brown…..but I haven’t quite decided yet.

Really excited about finishing up the floor and the painting so that I can start decorating the interior of the house!! Want to glue the window box in soon too, and work on the window installations. I’m thinking of doing a stained glass panel on the front door. We’ll see……

So, the library is now doubling as a craft room. Last weekend, we got this new cube storage unit, and rearranged some furniture, and now it looks like this!

The shelf on the left is holding most of my craft tools …not pictured are the four bins of fabric plus some extra sewing accessories. Also not pictured is a basket of leather. But yeah – I’m feeling pretty excited about everything having a home – and about this huge table that I can use as a work surface!

I finished this scarf for Stephen yesterday. It’s a grey linen yarn, with a cobalt blue cottolin yarn. Turned out very well, IMO – I love the look and feel of linen soooo much. It won’t be the warmest scarf ever, but it hangs well and Stephen said he likes it, so.

Started on another one last night – a wider warp – greyish blue with some cobalt and light peach stripes. I’m going to use a grey cashmere as the weft, with a couple of blue and peach horizontal stripes as well. Going for a sort of plaid look, I suppose. We’ll see how it turns out – am hoping it’ll look good! I ordered this cashmere yarn from an Etsy store and it shipped from France, so you know, trying not to waste it. Will post a picture once I finish this one…which might be a bit since I don’t have a whole weekend ahead of me to watch horror movies and weave. (sigh)

 

I went to bed around 9:30 last night, and was asleep before 10:30 – and omg I feel so much better this morning than any other mornings this week. I have such a love/hate relationship with going to bed early. I love sleeping, and love feeling rested. On the other hand, I don’t love hastening the next day (unless it’s before 5pm and the next day is Saturday) and I want to have as much time at home with my hobbies – and boyfriend – as possible.

Well, last night I finished the yellow scarf thing I was weaving (turned out fine, will probably use as a Christmas present for someone who really likes yellow), finished the episode of Grey’s Anatomy that I was on, and decided it was time for bed.

Lately I tend to be a little apprehensive of Thursdays. Today, for example, I’m meeting one of the sales reps and his customers for lunch, and then I have an appointment with my therapist, and then after work I’m tutoring. This puts me home around 7:30 or thereabouts, and basically eats up my entire day. It’s not all bad since the variety makes the work day much more interesting – but it also means that I’ll have catching up to do, and that I won’t get to see Stephen until tonight. Which is fine, but.

I also ordered some new yarn (one is a grey 100% linen, the other two are cotton/linen blends in light peach and cobalt blue) which should be delivering today – but that won’t do me any good since I won’t be home in time to use it. (I’m making Stephen a scarf in grey and blue, and making myself one using some combination of all three colors, probably. Or maybe just grey and light peach. Haven’t decided yet. AM very excited about it though.) Might end up weaving all weekend. This isn’t technically a new hobby, but it’s one that I haven’t practiced all that much, and I have new techniques that I want to try out (lace and the like). Exciting!! I need more friends who will do craft nights with me. Seems like it would be so much fun……..

 

Dear, lovely Stephen has said that it’s ok with him if I use the library as a craft room.

I forget how many hobbies I have until I try to fit them all into an organized space in one room. I need to find places for leather crafts, crocheting crafts, weaving crafts, drawing and painting, and sewing crafts. That might be it, but it’s a small room. And already houses several shelves of books.

So the biggest space killers are going to be fabric and yarn and leather. Raw materials, I suppose. Organizing tools should be fairly painless…lots of jars! I might mount a coat rack or something to hang the loom from – it definitely needs a home. And my leather tools/etcs (have lots of bottles of stuff) should probably have a shelf of some kind.

A shelf for fabric would be so nice, too – so that I can fold and stack everything and not have to feel like I’m exhuming a body every time I try to look through my fabric stash. The yarn ought to be able to go in a bin, though – don’t mind digging that up.

For right now though, I will probably just put everything into milk crates. That will be a step in the right direction, anyway.

I thought blogging about this might help me to brainstorm organization ideas, but doesn’t seem like that’s really working. I think I just need to get home and start doing it.