If having kids is so great, why is so much of what I hear about it negative, or indifferent? This includes talking to friends, overhearing conversations, reading stuff online, etc. (I realize that most of my friends don’t have kids. But still.) I don’t have the desire to recreate myself – I think narcissism is a terrible reason to reproduce anyway. I like being able to spend money on things that I want, instead of on tacky toys and clothing that will be outgrown in a few months. I like having free time, and getting 8 hours of sleep, and being able to drink wine with dinner without feeling neglectful or irresponsible.
Seems to me that the biggest argument for having children (aside from biological urges which are not based in logic but in our innate need to preserve the species…at least by procreating, if not by keeping our habitat livable…which one is more important here?) is that you’re more likely to have people who’ll take care of you as you age. Also it’s nice to have family, but I know I’ll have nieces/nephews so that’s not a huge concern – family is family, whether they come out of my vagina or someone else’s.
My question is…….are having children actually worth it? I mean, you don’t hear the bards sing praises of raising kids like you hear them sing about falling in love. Or do you, and I’m listening to the wrong music?
Really I’m feeling snarky about everything right now because one of my customers just called and basically told me that I’m doing my job wrong, when her coworker very clearly ordered (as in, read me the manufacturer’s number) the item she accused me of fucking up today. So that made me want to throw mini bouncy-balls at her. And the lady who sits in the adjacent cube was just talking about her most recently trip to the mall with her teen-aged daughter. Both of these combined to make me decide that having children makes absolutely no sense at all unless you want them to take care of you in your old age (a safer route would seem to be a retirement fund), or if you just get off on having “mini-me’s” running around and feeling important in the world you’ve created in which you ARE important.
Anyway, I need to chill out now. Rant is over.
EDIT: I had published this a couple of days ago but took it down because I felt like it was unnecessarily bitter. But two people have shared it so I figured I’d put it back up. Comments are welcome, and do know that I’m not feeling bitter about the subject at the moment! Sometimes I think I’d like having kids, sometimes I don’t. So when I have mixed feelings about something, my instinct is to analyze both sides logically – which is what the entry basically amounts to.
Been perusing some articles online this morning (it’s been a slow morning…) and was just reminded of why I never read comments at the end of these articles. I live in a state of self-imposed ignorance regarding the intelligence of my fellow human beings; I like to think that everyone has critical thinking abilities (c’mon, critical thinking is the same as common sense isn’t it??) and that people will try to figure things out for themselves before posting completely idiotic statements online. But….every time I go read comments after reading almost any type of article, I am amazed at how stupid some people are.
Sorry if that’s mean. But regardless, it’s true.
If you’re interested in the specifics (also I feel like I should offer examples instead of just arbitrarily throwing my opinion out there) – was reading this piece from the Atlantic, Is There Any Rational Case for Banning Gay Marriage? I personally thought the article was well-reasoned…but don’t ask what made me keep scrolling down to view the comments. Maybe I wanted to see if anyone would actually have a logical rebuttal? Instead, comments like these (“Think about this for a moment: If your parents were gay you wouldn’t exist”; “Don’t be ridiculous. You are comparing the natural, biological pairing of a male and female, to some boy putting his wee wee up another boy’s butt”; “Homosexual pairing is a chosen biological dead end and as such merits absolutely no taxpayer subsidy or state sponsorship”) have a sort of snowball effect culminating in my desire to pull out my hair and yell profanities at random people.
(HA! Another reason I have a blog is to keep me from pulling out my hair and yelling at random people. Good stuff.)
I will also note that a lot of the comments on this article (and I didn’t even make it very far) were positive and called these bigots out on being close-minded and stupid (i.e. it’s absolutely ridiculous to say that if your parents were gay then you wouldn’t exist; that assumes that gay people are either unable to conceive even after having intercourse with a member of the opposite sex, or that because they are not attracted to the opposite sex then they would never feel themselves pressured to pretend to be…).
Anyway, had to vent a little. I’m done now. I think.
People always have to put in their two cents. Granted, this is my two cents, but I’m not forcing anyone to read it! I’m not arrogant enough to claim that MY opinion needs to stand out all the time — though, like everyone else, I think that I have a perfectly valid viewpoint. People have a tendency to react without thinking, without having actually processed and weighed what they are reacting against. They just want to be heard I guess, and it’s easier to spout their opinions instead of taking the time to analyze what they are disagreeing with.
On that note, I think that people fundamentally want and maybe even agree on the same things, but we grab onto differences to keep us from achieving those common goals; we all want to be safe, to have the same basic rights and opportunities. But we waste so much time squabbling over the details and not engaging that it becomes impossible to see the big picture.
Ok. Sorry, this from a stupid comment I read on reddit. There’s no one around to listen to my rant right now, so the blog gets it.
Really bored at work today.
I found this article on Reddit and am posting it here instead of Facebook because for some reason, this stuff is controversial. The article is a critique of a story in the August 2013 Elle, in which the author of the story says that a doctor finally was able to diagnose her allergy problems as being caused by eating genetically modified corn. I have been a little confused about the whole GMO debate because the ability to genetically modify food seems like it’s a good thing to me. Don’t get me wrong – I would avoid eating them if just to boycott Monsanto, but I don’t know if that’s actually possible.
This article explains and debunks the allergy side of the debate anyway. One of the scientists interviewed (Richard Goodman) explains that YES, new proteins (potential allergens) CAN be created by GMOs, but these proteins are “evaluated specifically for potential risks of allergy” (it’s on page 2 somewhere – I’m not citing this shit).
I get annoyed about this issue because I feel like people are buying into the hype without doing the research. So if you’re interested, you should check out this article. And if you have opinions, I’m interested in hearing them.
Completely unrelated to my last post. But I think I’m going to start adding an “s” to the end of everyone’s last name. Just to show them all what it’s like.
I’ll try not to complain the WHOLE post.
My life is changing, and I am changing, but some things have not changed yet. For example, I find myself – every now and then – being energized by the freedom that comes with being single. There are good and bad things about every situation, and this is one of the good things. The bad part is that as I’m feeling good, I want to tell Matt about it. As I’m getting ready to pay off my loans, I want to tell Matt and thank him for making me be financially responsible – without him I would be so much deeper in the debt hole than I am.
I am excited about not having any more debt, but I so long for Matt to be here to celebrate with me. I had no idea how to handle my money before meeting him. Yes, I paid the bills and put together the budget and all that – but it was because Matt wanted us to be responsible. @#$%^&*#$%&$%*@&@!#%
Oh………..sigh…………..I miss him so damned much.
And my feelings of helplessness with regards to the situation will never go away, I’m sure. The thing I want most is for Matt to be here and to be happy, but I couldn’t make him happy (or at least keep him happy) while he was here, and I sure can’t do anything about it now. His birthday is two weeks from Thursday, and frankly, I’m scared. I just want to skip that day. I think I need to plan something for that evening so that I don’t spend the whole time in bed lying in a fetal position (which I can definitely see that happening otherwise).
So Lucille 2 has ear mites (hooray). I have some pain medicine and ear ointment to give her, and last night ALL she wanted to do was either sit on my lap or be held by me. And she slept on the bed next to me and Lucille 1 all night. She’s SO pitiful and adorable and sweet and sad!! I found myself wanting to stay home to take care of her, but it’s not like there’s much I can do anyway. I think the pain medicine kind of puts her out of it. Poor kitty. Oh, and she has the Cone of Shame on too, so that she doesn’t try to mess with her stitches, and that just compounds the pitifulness! Here’s a picture.
So there’s your update.