Monday morning #6

Ohhh sighhhh….Monday mornings are still pretty shitty.  I’ve stopped myself from sending some arbitrary texts already today – I don’t have anything to say really, I just want to text Matt but can’t.  So I guess that’s why I’m blogging now. 

As recently as 6 weeks ago, I would go to work in the morning and view 5:00 as the finish line when I could stop sitting in my cube and go home to my favorite person.  The finish line isn’t as appealing anymore, but being home is still better than being at work so I’m trying to come up with some stuff to do this week.  Mostly – when I stay home anyway – I’ve been just watching TV and keeping the house clean.  Doing some reading – No Time to Say Goodbye and Without –  but I only like reading a little at a time from those books.  They’re not very easy to read.  I had been re-reading the Two Towers before Matt died, but I haven’t felt compelled to pick up that book again yet. 

Anyway.  So I need to start exercising when I get off work.  And I’ll need to start getting out and doing stuff, too.  Before, this wasn’t a problem because I would spent almost all my free time at Cafe Coco.  I don’t have as much motivation to go out there these days, not to mention the fact that I live further away now.  What do single people do?  What do introverted single people who aren’t necessarily looking for a new boyfriend do?  Join clubs?  Extracurricular activities?  I could find a suicide survivor support group.  I could start inviting myself to people’s houses for dinner.  I don’t have to meet new people right now; it’s probably sufficient for me to learn how to reach out to the friends I already have. 

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

9 thoughts on “Monday morning #6”

  1. As a single person not looking for a boyfriend, I generally do what you are talking about. Reach out to friends, and, as you know, I have a couple of support groups I’m involved with (which is a way of meeting new people also). I also have some exercise DVDs that I occassionally use as a gym membership isn’t in my budget right now, or go walking around my neighborhood. All of that stuff keeps me pretty busy. 🙂


    1. I need to be taking more walks around the neighborhood. It’s a good neighborhood for it. Almost makes me want to get a dog, but that would just be a bad idea….


  2. Anybody you know do a dinner club? That’s the kind of thing I liked as a single person—a way to meet the occasional new person while really just having dinner with friends. Also, inviting oneself to a friend’s house—I keep having to learn over and over—is almost always perceived as a compliment to that friend, instead of a, burden, or something (which I am hardwired to expect, always).

    Also, do you do yoga ever?

    love you sister.


    1. I do actually know some people who do a supper club, and Matt and I have gone a couple of times. They recently invited me again but I don’t remember when the next one is. Would probably be good for me to follow up, eh? And the problem with going to people’s houses is that I have to, like, get off the couch and drive somewhere. Which isn’t so bad once I get off the couch. Grumble grumble. Annnd, I have done yoga and keep meaning to get back into it. Same problem though – getting off the couch. But I really do intend to start exercising again. Ryan’s been around most of the time and I don’t like doing it in front of people, but I’ll figure something out…..


  3. No harm in checking something out once! (in reference to the dinner club.) (and, in reference to going by yourself.) If they invited you, they want you!

    Yoga is strange to do in front of people, yet. Especially with the size asses we Reeve women have. Haha.


  4. You know you are always welcome here for dinner and stuff. You won’t meet any new people, of course, and you’d have to get off the couch, but you are always welcome.
    We’ve signed up for a couple Nashville area gamer associations. I haven’t had the heart to do anything with it, but it was a step forward.


    1. That makes me sad. 😦 But it’s good though. Let me know how things go. Ryan will definitely play games with us, and he likes them too (not as much as you and as Matt did though). It makes me sad to visualize us playing games though, which maybe is why I haven’t brought it up yet. But I will.


  5. Okay, so i’m still catching up, but i’m stopping to comment! This post resonates with me. It’s strange how situations can be so different and so similar. I think most single people go to bars… but then when you actually GO to the bar it seems everyone is coupled off. There are good places to meet people online, but that seems like it requires a lot of effort and awkwardness. I think it just stinks to put yourself out there. Can’t we just skip all of those steps and get to the part where you have tons of friends and things to do that are enjoyable without having to get to know people?


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