If you want to know how I feel —


That’s all. I don’t want to.

I know I have to.

But I don’t want to.

But I know I have to.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

2 thoughts on “If you want to know how I feel —”

  1. Hey Erin,
    I hear you that there is a deep struggle going on. I ask you to consider…isn’t this a good time to turn it all over to God who cares for you? This may elicit hair-raising, eye-popping repulsion-but God wants to take your broken-heartedness and reshape all into a vessel for His use and glory. Won’t you consider this as alternative to the feelings of dispair and pain. He is waiting for you to cast all your care and anxieties on Him.
    It does take a leap of faith. He won’t dissappoint.


  2. You don’t have to do anything right now until you are darn good and ready. Be gentle with yourself. You’ve got a good, smart mind and strong character. You’ll do what’s right for you, when it’s right for you.


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