So I’m just reading through Without, start to finish, and I’m about half way through now. A lot of the poems are about his last days with his wife as she was dying from cancer, and he talks a lot about how they spent those days. It’s such a different scenario than mine, but has all the same underlying themes and emotions. It makes me think about how brave he was to remember all of that and write about it at such length; it’s so difficult for me to spent almost any length of time thinking about all of my memories with Matt. I wrote out a bunch in my (paper) journal (plog?) and a part of me wanted to keep going, but I kept having to stop because I was crying. But I’ll go back to it. I don’t want to lose those memories.
Day: March 29, 2013
Another poem, sorry
I don’t have anything particular to write at the moment, but read this poem last night and really liked it. It’s also from Without by Donald Hall.
Air Shatters in the Car’s Small Room
Distracting myself
on the recliner between
Jane’s hospital bed
and window, in this blue
room where we endure,
I set syllables
into prosy lines.
William Butler Yeats
denounced with passion
“the poetry of
passive suffering.”
Friends and strangers
write letters speaking
of courage or strength.
What else could we do
except what we do?
Should we weep lying
flat? We do. Sometimes,
driving the Honda
with its windows closed
in beginning autumn
from the low motel
to Jane’s bed, I scream
and keep on screaming.