I dropped off my car at Firestone this morning – the check engine light has been on for a couple of weeks, and I’ve been having issues pumping gas (like there’s an obstruction or something in the gas tank). Had to drop it off because they’re going to have to take the whole tank out to see what’s wrong with it, and apparently removing a gas tank takes time. (Update: he just called to say what’s wrong with it…and I’ve forgotten exactly what he said, but it’s two parts that need to be replaced and they of course have to come from Kia so they’re kind of expensive… basically I’m not spending any more money ever again, at least until tomorrow.) So my dear mother in law gave me a ride to work this morning, and it was really good to see her – it’d been a bit. I need to make more of an effort to see them. I’m so damnably lazy. I really miss feeling like part of a family in Nashville though; of course I could make weekend trips to Knoxville all the time if I wanted, but that’s not really practical.

I can’t wait until I have everything together and can start having people over to dinner every week. Once I get it together, I’ll also start working out every day and cooking at home all the time, and never have anything to eat after 9 pm again.

I actually cleaned most of the kitchen last night. Got almost everything washed, the table and the stove cleared off, and it looks much better. I switched out my spring blossoms in the living room with some fall-colored berry-things. Makes it look more like September now. I’m kind of doubting that I’ll do much more fall decorating, but we’ll see. As soon as the leaves start changing, I might bring some of those inside. Oh, I miss home being HOME – with Matt. Home is all well and good, and Bitey is always glad to see me, but the best part of it was always Matt.

But, I’m doing what I know to do with what I have.

Tomorrow, Katie and I are going to TACA and then back to my house for a craft day – I’m SO looking forward to it! Craft fair and then crafting with Katie — can there be a better plan for a day!? I’m not sure what I’ll be working on, but most likely I’ll pull out quilt stuff – and maybe work on my motifs too.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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