a list

Some things that make me feel good

– A clean house
– Flowers
– Productivity
– Making things
– Being at home
– Reading
– Playing my guitar
– Drawing
– Working out :-/
– Being financially responsible
– Being financially irresponsible
– Seeing people when I feel like it
– Being alone when I feel like it
– Having friends who don’t mind arbitrary texts
– Being nice to other people
– Autumn
– Remembering that Matt wasn’t the only person who loved me
– Eating well

I need to make myself a Plan. Structure is a good thing. I ought to make a spreadsheet or something to keep track of what days I should work out, what days I should work on quilts, what days I should clean the bathroom. As it is, a lot of this stuff only gets accomplished when I’m ALREADY feeling good. I’m so glad that fall is happening soon though – when the weather cools down I always have so much more energy.

Anyway. Just wanted to make this list. Maybe I’ll turn it into a Plan soon.

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Here’s the yarn that came in the mail yesterday.

blog - yarn

Otherwise, I don’t have much to write about other than missing Matt. So what else is new? I get distracted by projects and other people, but when I’m alone it’s hard not to collapse into sobs. One of the sales reps at work lost his wife last week. They had two grown children and at least 3 grandkids. I can’t really imagine how much he must miss her – for them it was decades; for Matt and me it was 5 years. And he came back to work yesterday too – I don’t get it. I guess working is better than lying around the house being completely heartsick and miserable.

I hope no one minds that much that I sound like a broken record in pretty much every blog entry. When it comes down to it, I still have trouble caring about anything else sometimes. **sigh**