Sixteen weeks, but four months a week from tomorrow.

I feel like my brain is taking a vacation. I’ve come to the conclusion that a big reason I’ve felt kind of despondent the last week or so is because I’ve been spending a lot more time by myself. So, I’ve been trying to make plans to hang out with people so that I don’t HAVE to spend so much time alone. But it’s so hard, being as introverted as I am – I just want to be in the same room with people I love without having to actually talk to them unless I have something interesting to say. I feel like I can’t keep up with being entertaining and sociable, but the alternative is to be alone! I really never have lived completely on my own before – I’ve always had roommates and before them, siblings; this is a new experience for me. Finding the balance between spending time with friends and re-charging after being around people is tricky. And I’m no good at it at all yet.

Plus my period is starting (not even apologizing if that’s TMI) so my back hurts and I feel generally crampy and crabby. Meugh.

I think I’m going to get a hair cut tonight. Mine is getting WAY too long and I don’t like it.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

3 thoughts on “sixteen”

  1. Living alone took me a while to get used to, but once I did, I really enjoyed it.

    I can bring sock puppets the next time I come over.


  2. This was well put. I am thankful to know some of your struggles and feelings. AND I have always thought you look good with short hair. In case you get it cut short. That is.


  3. I loved living alone, though of course, it was different circumstances. I hope you learn to savor it. I’m up for a quiet crafting day whenever. No conversation required. 🙂


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