2012

Anyone want to read a blog entry from this day last year? I won’t post these often, but this was a very poignant entry.

Day 6
I feel like I’m in the middle of a battle for …my life, basically. And I’m completely unable to do anything about the outcome.

CAN’T SOMEBODY HELP?!?!?! PLEASE!!!!!!!? WE NEED HELP.

I’m so discouraged.

He says that he’s tried so hard all his life to make things better. He’s tried everything they tell you to do – make friends, stay active, eat right, think positive – all that. But nothing helps, he said. Something in his brain is missing. He’s not capable of getting better, he said. He’s weak and stupid, he said.

Can’t somebody help? What am I supposed to do?? I try to tell him that I think he’s strong and smart and capable of getting better, but he throws it in my face.

Please. Somebody help.

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Boring Friday morning…..

I’m blogging because I’m bored, so be forewarned. I’m a little over a quarter into my shift, and it’s going slowly this morning. Also, I’m afraid that I’ll fall asleep if I start reading (did not quite go to bed on time last night – busy watching the Vicar of Dubley…).

That meeting yesterday, by the way, ended up being more of a meet-and-greet, which was perfect because we only had to stay for 30 minutes. I got a free margarita and was able to talk to some United Way representatives and learn a little more about the organization. I hope to be able to put in some volunteer time with them in the future – though they don’t have constant opportunities.

After that, I hung out with Ryan some at Bill and Helen’s, and after dozing off on the couch decided to go home to my comfortable bed. 🙂 It was a decent day, I suppose. I felt pretty, and that’s always very nice. Today I’m feeling more sloppy as I didn’t get up in time to take a shower (because I’m a lazy bum), but I’m going to take care of that when I go home for lunch.

So I got a new cake stand yesterday. Did I mention it already? Here’s a picture.
cake stand
I’m DYING to baking something that I can put on the cake stand. I don’t even necessarily want to eat whatever I bake – I just want to display it with a glass dome. 🙂 Maybe I’ll do that later when I get off. It’s more likely that I’ll do it tomorrow though.

BTW, it’s afternoon now. Once I started complaining about what a slow morning I was having, things picked up. I got back from my lunch break about 15 minutes ago though. I think I’m going to dedicate myself to cleaning up once I get off work; this will include doing all the dirty laundry (including Ryan’s, and including towels), cleaning out the litter boxes, cleaning the kitchen up and maybe trying to re-arrange and declutter, and cleaning up the library which already looks vastly better because I picked up all the clothes that were on the floor. Having a clean house makes me feel so much better about myself and life in general, I gotta say.

I’m not sure what I’m going to do this weekend. I think I’m hanging out with some friends tomorrow, and I’m doing something with Cathy on Sunday, but other than that I’m not sure. I keep saying that I want to get a hair cut and a pedicure, and I keep doing neither of those things. Or I might bake. Or plan some realistic meals and make a grocery list. Or lie in bed all day because I have an awesome bed and am loathe to leave it whenever I must. I can’t bake while I’m in bed though, so I’ll have to make some compromises.

Geez, sorry I’m being so rambly. I guess no one is forcing anyone to read this though.

I catch myself wishing that my life was more like a movie, which is a terrible wish but pops up in my conscious mind every now and then. Movies just make things more romantic and idealized and compelling. But I don’t really feel like going into this right now. So nevermind.