eight weeks yesterday

and you know, I really don’t remember almost anything that happened eight weeks ago today.  Mom and Dad were here.  I think we went to Tammy’s at some point.  I have no idea what else.

It’s Friday, and that’s a good thing.  I’m taking Bitey to the vet tomorrow to have an abcess behind his ear checked.  Hope it’s not too expensive…I need to take the kittens to have them fixed, too.  Not doing that one tomorrow though.

Yesterday I saw my therapist lady for the third time (she had to reschedule my appointment last week).  It went fine.  She really thinks I’m doing comparatively great, and keeps forgetting that it has only been 8 weeks.  She basically told me that I need to be going out some, seeing friends some, crying some, laughing some, excercising some.  I’m pretty much doing all of those things – though not enough exercise at this point.  I’m going to try to start doing more yoga, at least to start. 

But anyway.  It continues to be good to hear from a professional that I’m doing fine.  Someone on the suicide survivors forum posted something along these lines – I never wanted a new life, but since my old one isn’t an option and this space I live in now is unbearable, I have no choice but to go toward my new life.

Yep.  Basically.  This is all horrible and awful and no fair and I don’t deserve it and I thought I was smart enough to avoid this kind of drama in my life.  But, tough shit, basically.  This is where I am now and all I can do is keep walking forward.  And that’s about all I have to say right now.


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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

2 thoughts on “eight weeks yesterday”

  1. Maybe we could find a yoga group to join in brentwood or something? I would do that with you too! I’m the most un-flexible person ever.

    I like the part about moving towards your new life too.


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