At “home” which is just a lonely, empty house (except for the cats). I have loved this house so much, but everything is so completely wrong without Matt. I had to sit here for 5 minutes saying over and over, “He’s never coming back” pretty much immediately after walking in the door. When they say you have to take this an hour at a time, they’re not kidding. I go from sobbing to feeling like cleaning up to zoning out in front of the TV to wanting to draw back to sobbing. It’s very unstable and I hate it. But … it is what it is. I can’t do anything else about it.
Right now I’m lying on the couch with the TV and cats making background noise. Bitey wants to go outside. I should be taking a nap instead of writing this since we left at 9 last night and drove all night.
And this is what is directly in front of me. I almost want to take them down. Did you guys like these btw?
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I just called and said most of my thoughts…I’m so sorry for the pain you have.
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Yeah, they’re totally great. what do they signify, for you? happy memories? or are they reminders that all is changed?
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Happy memories I suppose…. When I drew them initially, I think I just wanted to make sure Matt’s face would still be around, even if it makes me miss him more.
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They’re so lovingly drawn, too—so apparent! They’re just beautiful.
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Beautiful. Your love drew them.
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