Oh, blah.

Another Monday morning, hooray…..

You know, sometimes I feel free and glamorous and on top of things. Other times I feel like a big fat blob who might as well just live on the couch and become an actual hermit. This morning is kind of a mix of those, which is fairly typical for a Monday morning. Each Monday, I swear, I dread facing another week without Matt. Sometimes I feel like I talk about him too much. He isn’t always on my mind….just usually, especially if I’m alone. I donated some money to a fundraising drive for a suicide prevention hotline – the same one that Matt had thought about working for a few years ago. I don’t know what happened…but I guess I kind of do. Not much point in rehashing it all the time, but I can’t really help it.

It was a decent weekend. I need to make an effort to be more productive though, even if I don’t necessarily NEED to be. I just feel better about myself when I can get shit done, even if it’s stuff like cleaning out my car and washing the dishes.

This is one of those mornings where I want someone to just take care of me. I know I’ve complained about it, but I get tired of being strong. **sigh**

Maybe I’ll write something more cheerful later…..

Published by


I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s