Have the weeks slowed down? Seems like 28 weeks isn’t a long enough period of time.

I’m still feeling like a little fish navagating a huge ocean, but I guess that’s kind of what’s going on so I shouldn’t feel bad about feeling this way. Makes it hard to be productive sometimes though. On Tuesday I started mowing the lawn and was going to TRY to get both front and back done, but wasn’t making myself any guarantees because I wasn’t feeling great (mostly just low-energy). Then Ryan showed up and decided to mow the whole front yard, so I went inside and washed the dishes. Clean kitchen AND short grass. It was good. Kitchen is still mostly clean….

Otherwise I haven’t been super productive. Lucille decided to spray all over my bed (because she’s a Seaward…or a c word…or whatever) so I had to wash that stuff, but that was out of necessity and I don’t really count it as productivity.

So I saw a Facebook post last night that I commented on. It was a whim and I wasn’t expecting any responses at all. I didn’t get too many, but I was kinda touched. Someone even said, “Thanks for these words, they gave me the force to keep up for today.” I’m not 100% sure what that means, but then my boss brought me this little quote from her Yogi tea bags that says “We are here to love each other, serve each other, and uplift each other.” (OK, addition of Oxford comma was mine.) Just another reminder that my life is one out of so very many, and we all have our own problems and concerns, and if I can help even a handful of people then I’ve done better than I could have.

Yep, aspiring to do better than nothing. 🙂 It’s the right direction for sure.

I really wish Matt was here so I could tell him all about what I’m learning from all this.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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