Just musing….

So I’m just reading through Without, start to finish, and I’m about half way through now.  A lot of the poems are about his last days with his wife as she was dying from cancer, and he talks a lot about how they spent those days.  It’s such a different scenario than mine, but has all the same underlying themes and emotions.  It makes me think about how brave he was to remember all of that and write about it at such length; it’s so difficult for me to spent almost any length of time thinking about all of my memories with Matt.  I wrote out a bunch in my (paper) journal (plog?) and a part of me wanted to keep going, but I kept having to stop because I was crying.  But I’ll go back to it.  I don’t want to lose those memories.


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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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