Month: July 2014

The coffee is disappointingly weak this morning. I might need more.

I have plenty to say. Let’s see.

Amanda got married on Saturday. I ended up spending Friday night in Joelton, along with a good chunk of the bridal party and Amanda’s family. It was an enjoyable night (maybe not so much for her family, but the rest of us had a blast). The wedding was simple and beautiful and I’m really happy for Amanda and Tim. I feel bad for skipping out on the after party on Saturday night, but the thought of drinking more alcohol was making me want to throw up, and I was just completely peopled-out by that time in the day anyway. So I went home.

Emily stayed with me Saturday night so she could wait until Sunday to drive back to KY, and we got Cracker Barrel for breakfast which was the most human interaction I had all day. After she left and I got back home, I did my best to ignore my phone and focus on Astrud (if you want to know, and I’m pretty sure none of you actually do, I spent most of the day hunting down the 24 Stones of Barenziah and then finding the crown; kind of anti-climactic, but the crown is very, uh, bright and shiny anyway…).

So that’s your extremely condensed version of the weekend. I would go into more detail…but I don’t really feel that it’s too important anyway.

Made these fruit tarts last night and I was pleasantly surprised at how well they turned out. I just made a basic cream cheese filling, but made a honey lavender glaze which I was afraid was going to taste too much like lavender. Personally though, I thought it was perfect.

fruit tarts

good things

so far —–

1) one of my customers has started buying packaging materials from me! I’m not sure if I’ve stressed just how small my accounts are, but they are all VERY SMALL. so this is kind of a big deal.

2) Anna Laura sent me a really nice email yesterday that made me feel really good. (thank you!) I should send nice emails to people more often. sometimes I get stuck in my head for long periods of time I think.

3) I hope no one reading this works for AT&T, because I recently changed my plan such that my cell phone and Uverse bill total around $100/month. this is possible because I’m still on a family plan even though I just have one phone on it; when they canceled Matt’s line, they did not cancel my plan. eh heh heh heh.

4) planning to drive down the Natchez Trace tonight to look at stars. this is the kind of thing I need to do to get out of my head more.

5) even though it shouldn’t matter as much as I let it, I do have people in my life who like me and this makes me very very glad.

Babies and Bridesmaid Dresses

Sarah is 7 today – which, granted, sounds like a long time. For whatever reason though, seven years feels pretty accurate to me. It’s been a looong time since that morning in 2007 when I woke up with cramps and had a baby 12 hours later.

blog - sarah 2007

I hope so many things for Sarah, and one of the biggest of those hopes is that she won’t ever feel rejected or unloved by me. I’m not sure how best to communicate those things to her, but she’s only seven so I think there’s time. I hope her parents put in a good word for me.

I feel like I’ve been a member of the two most popular clubs in the world, but that I somehow have relinquished my membership – or had it revoked. Which leaves me feeling more separate than otherwise since I’ve been on the inside before, but I’m not anymore. This goes for being a mother and being a wife. And it’s really annoying.

That said, I did hang out with Katie and Elliott some this weekend which served as a reminder as to why I don’t have kids. Every time I think that I maybe kinda possibly do want little human dependents running around, I just have to remember back to what it’s actually like to have small children underfoot (and your responsibility). Though when I think about Sarah, obviously she would have been a charming exception to this rule. I assume.

sarah with a moustache

Anyway. I could keep going. But. The thing about the whole situation with Sarah is that (and I’ve said this before, so apologies) I know I made a good decision. I know that she has a better life than I could have given her, and that her parents have better lives because she is in them. And that makes me feel good.

In other news. Here’s that dress for Amanda’s wedding.

dress on me

I went and got a lacy cardigan thing instead of the grey shawl (below). Cropped my face out because I had just gone hiking (before going shopping) and my hair looks horrible.

dress w lace

I’m REALLY hoping this looks ok with the rest of the dresses. I feel like it’s a tad too dressy. The other bridesmaids were ordering dresses that seemed on the “nice” side to me (I mean, it IS a wedding) so I wanted a nice dress that I actually liked. Which is why I got this one. We’ll see, I guess. Going to have to get some wedges to wear with it as the wedding it outside (no heels) and the dress is mid-calf length. Even though I’m tall, without heels, this dress makes me look pretty short and squat.

afternoon blogging

Being around lately is making me feel pretty blah. That’s kind of a gapingly broad statement so I guess I should clarify that “the norm” isn’t cutting it at the moment.

I’m thinking that my ability to do a job well has little to do with the enjoyment that I get out of doing said job. I didn’t much enjoy restaurant management – though granted, there were a few parts that I liked. I actually kind of liked customer service. I enjoy being able to help people with problems or questions, and even though I don’t particularly like talking on the phone I didn’t have a problem overcoming that in customer service. I know I’ve been griping about this sales job for a few months now, and I know that I keep saying that I’m not making any decisions about changing until I can get an idea for how much more money I’ll be making. But they don’t even know how they’re going to be evaluating the bonus situation which is EXTREMELY demotivating.

So I’ve spent an embarrassingly large amount of time today trying to find a bridesmaid dress for Amanda’s wedding (which is a week from Saturday). Did you guys know that you are really supposed to order things like bridesmaid dresses several weeks in advance because they tend to be custom-made? Ugh. I didn’t. So I found this one (below) which is just a regularly-sized dress and in stock and I paid for 3-day shipping. That way, if it doesn’t fit, I can go to the Green Hills Mall. Which is exactly what I did for Anna Laura’s wedding.

dress

If it fits, I’m sure you’ll hear about it. If it doesn’t fit, I’ll probably complain about that as well. We’ll see! I don’t know if 3-day shipping means that it’ll get here Saturday, or Monday.

OK. I’m going to stop being unproductive and start being productive. I cannot wait to get home and play Skyrim tonight though. (Got my Breton character Astrud up to a level 100 in smithing AND in enchanting last night, so going to have some fun with dual-enchanting some dragonbone stuff.)