Day 9

Just woke up.  Feeling fairly depressed.  Mom and Dad came over yesterday to take me to breakfast and help clean up the house and everything looks great now.  I wish they were still here though.  It was comforting to be around them.  Not a whole lot of other stuff has been comforting.  One of my friends wants to hang out later today, but I don’t know – I feel too blah to be around other people (besides my husband, who I’ll obviously be visiting).

Yesterday he wasn’t feeling good at all.  When I got there, he was obviously not trying to pretend to be doing okay, and when I left he said that he was basically too depressed to have any visitors.  I hope that’s a little different today.  At least tomorrow is Monday and he’ll be able to consult with the doctor on the possibility of ECT treatments.

I want this week to be over already.  I wouldn’t be sorry if the month was over too.  I know that time passes quickly … but not quickly enough when you want it to.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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