Coming back

I thought we were going to be able to get through the whole vacation with no traveling drama — but no.  I was proven wrong.

The flight from Dulles to BNA should have been smooth-sailing……but for whatever reason, we had to go through a complete security check after arriving in DC – even though we had all literally just gotten off of the airplane and had gone through security in the UK.  The flight got in around 8:30pm, so their staff was already slimmed down.  Customs didn’t take too long to get through, but the security check was awful.  Katie got into the left line, and I got into the right line; she made the flight, and I didn’t.  I don’t know if you can imagine me running through an airport, but I definitely did.  By the time I got to the right gate, I was about 5 minutes late and soaked in sweat. 

Luckily……they were able to find me a seat on a flight leaving at 7 the next morning.  So I spent the night in the airport.  It was pretty awful. 

But all’s well that ends well, right?  I made it back safe and sound, didn’t lose or forget anything, and I’m glad to be home.

Here are a few pictures that I never put up.


In other news, one of my friends has joined the dead husband club — he killed himself yesterday afternoon.  This is a friend who used to be a coworker at B&C, and she and I and Amanda used to hang out all the time.  This is the friend who gave us the Lucilles.  She had moved back home (with husband and baby) a year or so ago so we haven’t been in touch lately, but I always felt a connection with her through – if nothing else – the fact that we both married suicidal men. 

I wish I didn’t know how she felt.  It’s day two for her, which makes me think back to day two for me and how utterly horrible it all was.  “Utterly horrible” feels like an understatement.  To be more accurate, I’d say that the Me who lived with Matt died when he did, and the whole last year has been my struggle to revive and redefine myself and my life. 

Anyway.  I should go back to work. 

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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