Oh Matt, I miss you so much. I’m sorry you were in so much pain, and I’m sorry I couldn’t take it all away. I really, really wanted to. You were the most precious person in the world to me, and I can’t believe that I couldn’t save you.

It’s humbling to realize that so much is just out of my control.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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