accidentally microwaved my leftover pasta too long, which turned the sauce into scrambled eggs. damn. so I’m eating the top, and finishing off this blasted sleeve of Samoas that I couldn’t resist buying the other day. left them at work; otherwise they would have been gone the day I bought them.
I utilized my lunch break to run to the post office, where I mailed THREEEE orders off!! two should have been mailed before today but because of all the ice, I didn’t actually get out of the house until yesterday. I should have mailed them yesterday…but, uh, that didn’t happen, so, you know. oh well. have I mentioned just how gratifying it is to be making money on these things??! I mean, it’s great!! I actually bought a case of bubble mailers and some tape today, because I keep needing them!! whoo hoo.
so Saturday is going to be the 2 year anniversary of Matt’s death, which feels weird to say. I had a dream about him last night, which hasn’t happened in a looong time – I can’t remember when I dreamt about him last. these last 4 years have been so odd, and disjointed. this last year has been full of recovery and living. year before that I was covered in grief. year before that I was equal parts hopeful and frightened. year before that I was apprehensive and starting to be frightened. it’s been very strange, and ten years ago I would have never been able to guess what was in store for me.
well, lost my train of thought thanks to blogging at work. oops. but I brought it up because I’m trying to decide what I want to do on Saturday. maybe I’ll buy a bottle of mead in honor of Matt. we’re supposed to get more snow on Friday so I don’t know about hiking — but if it’s warm enough and not raining/snowing, I might. I wonder how he would have wanted me to spend these February 21’s. I know that he would be happy with my life as it is right now, and proud of me. so it’s kind of a moot point, I guess. maybe I should see what Ryan’s doing.
4 thoughts on “lunch today: scrambled egg carbanara and samoas”
If you think of a way to commemorate, let us know and we’ll participate in Kville. Solidarity.
Ended up not really doing anything commemorative, save the FB post. Part of me wanted to, but in an effort to appreciate the present, I just spent the day doing things that I enjoy (being with Stephen and making things – leather things and food 🙂 ). It’s weird, being a widow with a wonderful boyfriend. I’m thankful that I don’t have to analyze everything to death and can miss Matt while being in love with Stephen at the same time. That Whitman quote — Do I contradict myself? Very well I contradict myself.
You’re pretty insightful and pretty great. ❤