Well, today is my last day at work before Christmas starts.  I’m taking tomorrow off, and we’re closed the 24th and 25th.  Am quite looking forward to spending all day tomorrow baking – I’m going to make linzertortes, babka, and rugelach.  It’s going to be very good-smelling at my house tomorrow.

I finished 99% of my Christmas gifts.  Some of them have turned out better than others, so if you get one that isn’t as great as someone else’s, I’m very sorry.  I really put a lot of time into all of them, so….  (Though Anna Laura/Marshall/Mary’s gift was the most time-consuming, but it’s partly a new baby gift as well, so you know.  It’s totally fair.)  Just have to wrap them up tonight, and clean my living room which is covered in crafting supplies and trash.  Probably mostly trash.  It’ll look great once I have everything cleaned up and wrapped, which I hope to have done by tomorrow morning so that I can just focus on baking all day.

This Christmas is so far worlds better than last Christmas.  It’s odd to remember how I felt about life last year, and compare it to where I am right now.  Last year, I knew that my life would get better eventually, and the light at the end of the tunnel (a poor analogy which I’m going to blame on weak coffee this morning) was getting slowly brighter, but I wasn’t happy.  I didn’t feel festive, and I had to force myself to do the Christmas things that I generally do with relish – such as getting gifts for family, decorating, baking, watching Christmas movies, etc.

This holiday season has felt like the best Christmas gift ever, compared with last year.  I spent this last weekend at Stephen’s, making gifts and listening to the Nutcracker and feeling so content – while he spent most of the weekend working on the couch next to me.  It was so lovely.  I may be introverted but I adore having someone around (preferably someone I can go kiss every now and then) who doesn’t feel the need to talk all the time.

Uh, anyway, will stop it with the mushiness.  But just saying – this year SO much more enjoyable than last.

BTW.  Janet posted this on FB yesterday, and I almost cried.  Sarah is the most gorgeous 7-year-old in the world.  (Cropped out her friends because their parents probably wouldn’t appreciate their picture on my blog….)


Published by


I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

4 thoughts on “”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s