In Which I Include No Complete Sentences

Things I’d Rather Be Doing Now Than What I Am Doing

In no particular order

Reading Wuthering Heights

Or reading Bridget Jones’s Diary, as – for whatever reason – I suddenly felt compelled to read it again

Cleaning my kitchen

Or dining room

Or bathroom

Or bedroom

Or living room

Prepping Thanksgiving decorations, which has the prerequisite of cleaning the dining room

Putting my recently purchased Fleur del sel into my new salt cellar

Which, as long as I’m at it, means I should also refill my pepper grinder

Doing laundry

Playing Oblivion I guess

Or Skyrim, I guess

Finding pretty leaves, spraying them with a coating, stringing them up from a pretty stick

Dyeing my hair

Watching thew newest season of It’s Always Sunny

Cleaning out the refrigerator

Yoga

Or hiking

Alphabetizing my books, by author, within each genre

As long as I’m being so negative already (wishing to be doing so much besides sitting at a desk), here are some reasons I’m “glad” my job entails sitting at a desk

(“glad”……i.e. “ok with”)

I can make lists ad nauseam

I can browse Pinterest for table scape ideas

I can check Facebook every 30 seconds, if I want – while thinking about how much I dislike Facebook

I can look at my face in the mirror and figure out exactly which angle gives me the least amount of chin fat

The contrast makes going home nicer than it could theoretically be

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