Seems that I write most when I have the most to complain about – which makes for super positive reading, I know!
I’ve really been craving Matt lately. To possibly be more accurate, I’ve been craving attention and affection and Matt was my only consistent source for these things. I’m sure that it’s good for me to be able to be content without these things constantly in my life, but…it also kind of sucks. I’m not really sure what I want to do to remedy this. (Well….correction – I do know what I WANT to do, but I’m not sure what I’m GOING to do. An important distinction to make.)
It’s been almost 10 months and I am used to living alone and sleeping alone, but I miss being married. I miss being the most important person in someone else’s world (or…the second most important person anyway). Geez, sometimes I just feel like a big baby! Waah. How much easier would this all have been if I hadn’t loved being married to Matt so much? Pointless speculation, I realize; plus, I really can’t complain because I was happier with Matt than I’d ever been before.
And I’m probably not as jaded as I should be. I strongly suspect that I’ll meet someone who will make me as happy as Matt did. And I know that I shouldn’t be desperate or rush into anything – and I won’t. But it’s tempting sometimes. Though other times, I think I need to move out of Tennessee…..
Enough complaining now, I guess.
Edit: since this is just a random blog entry, I thought I’d tack on my horoscope. Apparently this is going to be the year of promiscuity! Ha…ha…ha….
SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.
Astrology is full of itself, but this does do a pretty good job of describing me – except for the “gets offended easily” part. At least I don’t think that’s accurate. Also, I don’t think I’m all that childish – though maybe I just repress that part of my personality. Hm.