26…6months…Matt’s birthday

I probably shouldn’t be writing right now…being at work and feeling pretty emotional already. I would REALLY like to go home today. But it’s Thursday, which is typically my busiest day, and I think I should struggle through it. All I’m going to do at home is sleep and/or cry so I might as well be here making money.

But it’s going to be hard to force myself to be cheerful today.

This day last year, Matt was at Parthenon and I wasn’t even allowed to visit him on his birthday. So, I took him a copy of the Tao that I had re-bound in leather, along with a letter, and left it for him at the front desk. We talked on the phone at some point that day. It was a horrible birthday and I figured that this year would be better.

After work, some friends are meeting me at the Brewhouse for a couple of drinks – it seemed like an appropriate way to celebrate Matt’s birthday. I think that’s what we did on my birthday last year actually. 🙂 Right now, I’m not looking forward to it, but once I wake up and start feeling better (which I’m hoping will happen), I expect that to change. We’ll see.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

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