why must it be 100 degrees?!

oh, this summer is not going to be fun. I figured we got a mild summer (for TN anyway) last year and were going to get payback for it this year.

did I mention that I FINALLY paid off my credit card? it was a big deal. ever since those two months of unpaid maternity leave (almost 3 years ago…), I had to use the credit card more than usual and just did not do a good job of making payments on time or paying more than the minimum. which resulted in my balance staying basically the same for the next couple of years. so Matt got me to finally start paying attention and trying to pay it off… and now it’s done!! all of it!

Matt’s going to start doing P90X again, which means that I’m going to as well, even though I may drag my feet and complain and get mad at him for making me do it. completely irrational, I know, since I told him that he has to make me do it. since he’s only working 8 hours/day again, he has energy to exercise which is practically his favorite thing to do — other than playing chess. it’s good and bad; good because I need to lose some weight and bad because I hate working out. I don’t really mind eating more healthfully (as long as we can still get Wendy’s every now and then). but working out sucks. especially as hot as it is. then again, I sure do feel better after working out.

speaking of working out and it being hot, I took a cold bath yesterday (think swimming pool temperature). it was SO AWESOME. I’m not taking a hot shower or bath again until September or maybe even October. seriously, it was amazing. I read a short story in the New Yorker (this week’s issue is the summer reading one) and felt so cool and refreshed after I got out.

I’m blogging, by the way, because I should be cleaning up the kitchen instead. I made omelets and biscuits last night and failed to clean up after myself. though really, if I’m the one who cooks, shouldn’t Matt be the one who cleans up? or at least helps clean up? that just makes sense to me. he’s never as thorough as I want him to be though… but still. hmph.

I am, however, running out of things to say. what else can be said? well… we’re going to Knoxville this weekend. we’ll probably take the Kia (btw… got the license plate in the mail today finally!) to see how she does on road trips. we’re going to leave here on Friday — either at 3, if I can get out of work on time, or after 6:30 or so. we’ll probably be leaving Knoxville on Sunday morning so that we’ll have a little time to relax before going back to work. when you never have weekends off and take a road trip when you do, it’s just not relaxing at all. which sucks.

maybe we’ll go to the Vanity Fair outlet on the way. Matt doesn’t like spending money on clothes and claims that he doesn’t need any, anyway. all of his t-shirts are too big for him, stained, and/or have holes in them. his one polo shirt has holes in it and is vastly faded from its original color, which is apparent since the collar is much darker than the rest of the shirt. Matt doesn’t like going out in public much (though I don’t think he minds it as much as he used to), and I can’t help but think that he wouldn’t mind as much if he felt like he fit in more. which he would if he wore less sloppy-looking shirts. just my opinion. heh.

okay, Matt should be home any time. when he gets home, we work out. I think we’re doing pushups today (ugh). after that, a cold shower. then, to Target and Pet Smart. we need flea medicine desperately. after that, I’m sure Matt will want dinner and then bed. maybe I’ll see if I can talk him into doing something more interesting. I’ve been feeling bored and uncharacteristically social lately, which has both of us confused. need to hang out with Katie and with Cathy soon. so. hmm.

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

2 thoughts on “why must it be 100 degrees?!”

  1. …has both of us confused. HA! That’s funny.

    I remember saying something once about how Dad reacted unpleasantly to my suggesting something about wearing different pants (I think I probably said, “You’re not going to wear THOSE, are you?”), and the person I said it to (a man) told me that I was trying to control him.


    But it made sense. Now I rarely comment on his choice of wardrobe, at least not outside my head. (Do you remember how he used to get bent out of shape if I volunteered to iron a shirt for him to wear to church?) Faded polo shirts, stained T shirts, weirdly fitting pants–that’s him. I saw a book once titled “A Scruffy Husband is a Happy Husband”; I wanted to burn it. Most women, I’m thinking, are not thrilled with the Scruffy Man image. Sigh…


    1. yeah………. maybe next time I won’t say anything — I’ll just go buy him new t-shirts instead. I guess it’s normal for him not to care so much. I guess. he did let me pick out a few shirts for him yesterday (and even tried on one — a button up), plus he picked out a pair of shorts for himself. I was pleased overall. he seemed terribly uncomfortable for the next hour or so, though…. oh well. surprising him with new t-shirts is probably a good idea the next time though.


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