Somehow, it appears to be the last week of January.

And here I am again, at work, where I will sit at a desk and answer the phone for another 8 hours. I don’t mind working 8 hours/day at all – actually, life without a job tends to lend boredom and depression and apathy to my life, so hell, I’ll take the job. But. I do miss all the sunlight. Yesterday was so fucking beautiful, and today is sunny also; just makes me want to be outside in it.

But instead…I’ll remember that I’m glad that I have a job!

I had a pretty great weekend, all things considered. Had a good time on Friday hanging out with a (I hope) new friend. On Saturday, I went to give blood with an old friend, but they wouldn’t let me because – come to find out – I had a 99.9 fever! I felt just fine, though, so after we were finished we got some drinks and brunch. I’m assuming the drinks killed the fever as it was down to 97.6 when I got back home. Oh well.

On Sunday I got up and took a nice long, leisurely walk around the neighborhood (right after I woke up – so it was still cold and quiet). Came back home, took a bath in my sunny bathroom, then went to Michael’s for some paper and charcoals. Went back home and decided to blare music and draw – which lasted until mid-afternoon when I went to hang out with Ryan.

So it was a productive and social weekend, and oddly enough I’m not feeling over-socialized at the moment. That said, I would be perfectly content to stay in tonight.

I’m toying with the idea of opening an Etsy shop to do commissioned graphite or charcoal portraits. Or hell, I could add watercolor in there too, but those would take muuuuch longer. I do need to practice some though, so yesterday I re-established the fact that I am much better at drawing portraits of people whom I actually know as opposed to people whom I’ve never met. (grumble) Ah well – I just need more practice. Don’t think I’ve drawn an actual portrait since Matt. So almost a year ago, geez.

And this picture might be next on the drawing board (haha), actually. Janet posed this on FB yesterday. Just wanted to share.

sarah n janet

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I'm a young, childless widow who is trying to figure out the best way to deal with the world in light of my late husband's suicide. It's harder than I ever imagined it would be, but somehow at the same time I am still alive and even happy sometimes.

4 thoughts on “Somehow, it appears to be the last week of January.”

  1. It’s weird how body temperature fluctuates like that. By the way, with modern technology, that job could theoretically be done outdoors, couldn’t it? You could get a desk that’s on wheels, and move it outside when it’s nice out, and back inside when the weather gets bad. As long as they had wifi that would let you use Skype, the Intranet/Internet, etc. from that distance, you’d be all right.


    1. Yes, I could definitely work remotely, but I don’t think that I have enough seniority yet for that (unfortunately). Maybe I could pretend to have a medical condition that kept me at home. But that would be lying. Hm.


      1. Yeah, usually you have to be a top performer to get special privileges like that, depending on what kind of organization it is. I was performing slightly below expectations at this one company I worked at and they basically said “You need to quit complaining about not being granted the privileges to which you’re entitled; not only are you not holding up your side of the deal we made when we gave you those privileges, but you’re lucky you’re getting any privileges at all, because you don’t even meet the criteria for special treatment, given your performance. In fact, if you don’t improve your attitude and productivity, we’re going to fire you pretty soon.” Sure enough, they weren’t kidding around.

        Pretty soon, I was telling recruiters, “That venue just wasn’t a good fit for my extensive skills and capabilities. The advancement opportunities weren’t enough to provide the incentives needed to motivate me to continue contributing my core competencies to the overall synergistic value chain of deliverables production functionalities. The underutilization of my aptitudes became the real game-changer that hindered my self-actualization, which after considerable dialoging with the stakeholders that didn’t result in the necessary buy-in, ultimately became the main catalyst behind my progressive disengagement and eventual offboarding.”

        I had that sense of entitlement which used to be very common among newly college-educated white boys. We expected everything to be handed to us on a silver platter without any work required.


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