Ohhh sighhhh….Monday mornings are still pretty shitty. I’ve stopped myself from sending some arbitrary texts already today – I don’t have anything to say really, I just want to text Matt but can’t. So I guess that’s why I’m blogging now.
As recently as 6 weeks ago, I would go to work in the morning and view 5:00 as the finish line when I could stop sitting in my cube and go home to my favorite person. The finish line isn’t as appealing anymore, but being home is still better than being at work so I’m trying to come up with some stuff to do this week. Mostly – when I stay home anyway – I’ve been just watching TV and keeping the house clean. Doing some reading – No Time to Say Goodbye and Without – but I only like reading a little at a time from those books. They’re not very easy to read. I had been re-reading the Two Towers before Matt died, but I haven’t felt compelled to pick up that book again yet.
Anyway. So I need to start exercising when I get off work. And I’ll need to start getting out and doing stuff, too. Before, this wasn’t a problem because I would spent almost all my free time at Cafe Coco. I don’t have as much motivation to go out there these days, not to mention the fact that I live further away now. What do single people do? What do introverted single people who aren’t necessarily looking for a new boyfriend do? Join clubs? Extracurricular activities? I could find a suicide survivor support group. I could start inviting myself to people’s houses for dinner. I don’t have to meet new people right now; it’s probably sufficient for me to learn how to reach out to the friends I already have.